Much Anticipated Game Been Postponed? We’ve Got You Covered.
The announcement that From Software’s long-anticipated ARPG Elden Ring had been delayed until February, 2022, unleashed a tsunami of rage and disappointment on Reddit and Twitter. Few gamers seem to remember that Dark Souls 3 was delayed back in the day due to a supply chain issue with Estus Flasks, or that Bloodborne’s release was pushed back after the team decided to relocate and rebuild the opening level to Yharnam (it was originally set in Milwaukie, WI).
We get it. Lots of big name games have been delayed this year, often seemingly without reason. But we’ve got some suggestions on how to channel all that anger and disappointment. The important thing to remember, however, is that game delays are generally designed specifically to make YOU angry. That’s right, we mean you, Travis.
1. Get Really Angry in a Public Forum
Are you mad because Horizon Forbidden West got delayed…again? Try making a rage-filled YouTube video or write thousands of bile-spewing words on your favorite subreddit. In particular, point out the genetic or intellectual inadequacies of the developer’s children and helpfully point out that the publisher is more interested in profits than quality, demonstrated by them selfishly refusing to release an unfinished game on the promised day. Sure, lots of other people are disappointed, but the team obviously didn’t know that YOU were angry, or they wouldn’t have had the temerity to delay the game. Be sure to point out that the delay was a result of: 1) corporate mismanagement 2) a toxic workplace culture 3) creative impotence or 4) all of the above.
As an extra bonus, make another YouTube screed about how Cyberpunk 2077 (or a disappointing game of your choice) should have been delayed.
2. Cancel Your Pre-Order
You know what smart consumers do when their long-awaited game gets delayed? They cancel their order in protest. That’ll for sure show the publisher and developer that if fans can’t have the game now, they don’t want it at all. By the way, this tactic works really well in restaurants too.
3. Use the Delay to Make Assumptions About the Game
Delays are ALWAYS a sign that the game is in trouble, right? Make good use of the extra time to get super worked up about how bad the final release is going to be and how many features the developers promised are probably going to be missing or broken. Even better, start complaining on social media about how ugly the character models or levels look compared to other games. Just maybe one of the developers will read your post and have a lightbulb moment. “Damn. Aloy DID look better before. What were we thinking, changing the appearance of a fictional character of our own creation, simply to indicate age, growth, and maturity? Stupid! Let’s delay the game and make some changes, team. Full speed backwards!”
How do YOU handle game delays? We’d love to hear your comments below!
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