Ten 2021 Movies You Might Want To Skip

Godzilla vs Kong*

I don’t want this to be on this side of the list. I don’t. Godzilla was great. King of the Monsters was a good monster movie, not a great film. Kong: Skull Island was also a good monster movie but not a great film. Which by my math, if I carry the one, means Godzilla vs Kong should be a great monster movie albeit not the greatest film.

And yet, I can’t help but be really concerned about this one. I mean, what are we looking at here? Godzilla literally just beat one of the most powerful alien creatures in the last movie. What does Kong have on King Ghidorah? Or if, as I assume will happen, they team up after duking it out for a bit, what does Kong have that Mothra doesn’t?

All I’m saying is, this movie seems a little redundant after King of the Monsters. It’s going to take some sweet story finagling to not only get me interested but to get me on board in the first place.

Justice League: The Snyder Cut

Oh wow, look where we found ourselves again! Hello, WB/DC! Been a bit, hasn’t it? Can I talk to you for a second?

Look, I know you lost A LOT of money on Justice League. That hurts. Especially when the entire theatrical run of JL was overshadowed by the Avengers in 48 hours. I get it. I’d be pissed too! Do you know what’s not going to solve that problem, though? THROWING MORE MONEY AT IT! Do you know what’s REALLY not going to help? Letting Zach Snyder take a stab at RECUTTING THE SAME MOVIE!

$30 million in reshoots that don’t feature any of the leads later, WB is letting Snyder take a 4 (FOUR) hour run at recutting Justice League to more resemble his vision that was feared to forever destroy DC comics. Luckily for Snyder, DC has done that themselves, so his LENGTHY ideas for a JL movie have plodded ahead.

I know there’s a lot of people who are so pumped for this to come out, irrationally yelling that this will save a movie that absolutely no one liked. There’s something that everyone seems to be forgetting though – IT’S STILL THE SAME MOVIE!! Diana is still going to get her ass kicked by bugs. Aquaman is still going to swing wildly between ultra-serious and ridiculously comical. Superman is still going to have that mustache thing. The Flash will unfortunately still be in it. They won’t edit out Ray Fisher. Bats is still going to… I don’t know, shoot missiles? What did Batman even do in this movie? Most importantly, Steppenwolf (not the band) is still the villain and the fight with him is still going to suck.

Just because they spent a bunch of money adding in some CGI Darkseid and some scenes that were cut are back in it, it doesn’t change the fact that this movie was trash. Now it’s going to be trash in 4 parts.

Speaking of cut scenes, do you think that they’re going to keep Lois being pregnant with Bruce’s baby in this version?

*Special Note – WW84*

I’m not including this on either list as it has got a Christmas Day release. It has a lot of critical praise, so, me knocking its banal mediocrity would ring a little hollow if I slapped it on the ‘avoid’ list. The first WW had a fantastic middle but was bookended by awfulness and I expect 84 to be no better. Before it drops though, I just want to point out something that needs to be said.

In Wonder Woman, Zeus created the Earth and everything in it. Ares, who is the Greek god of war and also a mustachioed British man for thousands of years, killed Zeus. Diana, in turn, killed Ares. Meaning she theoretically, has the power to defeat the actual creator of the world. In WW84, she also can ride lightning as Diana has learned to master her seemingly ever-growing powers. Kristen Wiig though… Cheetah powers. What can Wonder Woman possibly do in the face of such an onslaught of someone with… cat powers?

All I’m saying is, don’t hang your family‚Äôs enjoyment of Christmas on Wonder Woman 1984. I’d prefer to have arguments over dinner instead.

Are you excited about any movies in 2021? Let us know in the comments below.

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