Okay, you three, it’s time to get fucked.
3. UFC 4
We’re getting down to the nitty-gritty now. The anticipation to see what number one will be is killing me. But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s talk UFC 4. A lot of people out there might be confused by this entry. Most reviews will tell you this is the best damned mixed martial arts experience you’ll find on a console. And I can’t argue that. On top of fantastic visuals, UFC 4 has truly streamlined the grappling, making getting into the 69 position easier than ever. Or is that a north-south? The problem is that these sick fucks at EA launched the god damned game, had reviews published, and THEN decided to add unskippable ads before every fight. Come on, fellas, don’t think we don’t know what the fuck is going on here. How arrogant do you have to be to think people either won’t notice or won’t care about this kind of shit? UFC 4 is okay, but GET FUCKED, EA, for this one.
Runner-Up – NBA 2K21
Unlike UFC 4, NBA 2K21 could be considered worse than the previous iteration. Fans have taken to Metacritic to award NBA 2K21 with a blistering 0.7 user score. That’s hot. And yes, while much of the critique stems from gameplay deficiencies, the big issue is that without spending real cash on microtransactions, your character will be as useful as a sheepskin condom. Sure, you can grind your way to a 99 overall. But the savages that don’t care about microtransactions will always be there to slap your dumb ass back to reality. It’s a virtual-fucking-casino out here with NBA 2K21 and I’ve already gambled one marriage away. The once-proud NBA 2K franchise deserves a big ‘get fucked’ for another year of this trash.
PS. Why did 2K think the WNBA’s twelve fans needed to have the WNBA in the game?
Get Fucked Game of the Year Winner – Cyberpunk 2077
Wow. I can’t believe I’m typing this. Jesus fucking Christ. For fucking years, I and countless others assumed that whenever the fuck Cyberpunk 2077 launches, it would surely be game of the year. What could stop it? And then, early in 2020, in what must have been the 40th delay, CD Projekt Red pushed the game back almost another year. We should have known right then and there that this was destined to be a shitshow. Cyberpunk 2077 is what happens when you get really excited to say, go bungee jumping, but then the fucking cord snaps on your way down, and you need to spend the next 18 months learning to walk again. And what really singes the hairs on my nut sack is that even if the bugs weren’t an issue, Cyberpunk 2077 is still just an average RPG. Well, it’s game of the fucking year, all right. The number one game of the year that can entirely go fuck itself.
For more of our Game of the Year awards, including our top surprises of the year and the best characters of 2020, stay tuned to COGconnected!
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