Saints Row: The Third Remastered Video Review
Saints Row: The Third came out nearly nine years ago, and this month we’re seeing a remaster of the infamously flamboyant action-adventure homage to crime, violence and absurdity. Complete with reworked models, enhanced graphics and hyper-realistic dildo bats, Saints Row: The Third Remastered is a game that should be skipped at your own misfortune. To watch our full video review of the game, be sure to hit play on the video below.
To sum up the premise of Saints Row: The Third in layman’s terms, the Saints have risen from a standard street gang to a notorious household name, complete with their own brands of clothing, energy drinks and novelty items. They are even the stars behind an upcoming film based on them, and their fame has gotten them noticed by an international crime organization called the Syndicate. After they are captured by the Syndicate, they refuse an offer to funnel their profits into the organization and escape narrowly with their lives. From then on, it’s all-out warfare between the Saints and the three main gangs who dominate the city of Steelport under the Syndicate’s authority.
The brilliance of Saints Row: The Third is that it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and it banks on you not taking it too seriously, either. You shouldn’t look for a particularly deep main story, nor should you expect the NPCs to have immersive dialogue or realistic reactions to you swinging around a submachine gun on a metropolitan sidewalk. To criticize these elements is almost to miss the point of the game, which, in our interpretation, is strictly to have fun — and this is what it accomplishes magnificently. As far as remasters go, Saints Row: The Third does a damn good job of bringing the nine-year-old game up to the standards of this generation. It looks just as good as any game of similar caliber you’d expect to see today, and almost all of the visual effects have been beautifully reworked for this remaster. The lighting is gorgeous, the colors are vivid, and the vehicle, character and gun models look much more enhanced than their 2011 parallels.
Saints Row: The Third Remastered is unrealistic in the best way possible, and what it lacks in substance it makes up for in outrageous antics and a priceless, middle-school sense of humor. It’s an absolute riot, and it never seems to draw its boundaries. Steelport is an adult playground for blood, gore and sex, and there’s no consequence for the violence and chaos you can induce. Almost everything about the remaster is fantastic, from the catchy soundtrack to the buttery smooth combat. It’s not a game you’d want your children to play by any means, but for everyone else of appropriate age and discretion, it’s a wicked good time.
What do you think of Saints Row: The Third Remastered? Did we miss anything in our video review? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments below, and don’t forget to keep up with us on Youtube, Facebook and Twitter for more video game news and content.