Don’t Let Fear Stop You From Upgrading Your Console! Don’t Be a Mod Moron!
I am not, in the slightest, a capable man when it comes to tools or computers. I am, as the title alludes to, a Mod Moron. The extent of my abilities when it comes to building anything is either IKEA flat packs or helping someone else build for me, and hoping I can tell which screwdriver is which when they ask me to fetch it. Naturally, when it comes to the delicate process and nimble fingers required to perform open-circuit surgery on a beloved console, the mere thought of it leaves my heart perpetually hitting the coin block in my throat. There is little else I could think of more terrifying than leaving the soul of my current-gen console – and those countless hours of save files – in my under-qualified hands. But on three separate occasions I have had to brave the idea, suck back a tall glass of Pepsi, and dig in. I am here to tell you that despite my overwhelming fear and utter distrust in my own capabilities – with a smidge of unparalleled neurotic paranoia over the potential loss of all things gaming – it really isn’t so difficult to improve upon modern consoles.
The first story is the foundation for my fear of mucking things up. A few years ago my Wii, the most beloved console in my possession at the time, had inexplicably powered down for the last time. All of the cords worked and were in fine condition, the console had taken no visible damage, it simply decided to kick the bucket and had no 1UP to rely on. With the Wii U recently launched and capable of backwards compatibility, I was sad to see the Wii go but excited for the upgrade. As I gathered up its parts and began packing it away – surely someone would be interested in buying it to repair or scrap – one haunting thought flooded my twitchy little brain: Was there still a disc in the console? I ripped through my cases, and Mario Kart was nowhere to be found. Deep breath. People would mod consoles all the time, surely I could gently pop open the case, unscrew the drive and free Mario and his friends from their optical prison. With trembling hands, the case was somehow popped off unharmed. The internal workings however, it was either the console, or my beloved karting.
Flash forward to the guilty-pleasure days of loving my Wii U. With the likes of Darksiders 2, Watch Dogs, and other titles easily marathoned, the Gamepad’s internal battery simply couldn’t keep up. With some minor research online I discovered Nintendo’s little hidden gem: The High Capacity battery. With it, I would no longer play a few hours and then let it sit on the charger while I pretended to be a responsible adult and do responsible things. No, with this, I could play until I actually felt the cold grip of lethargy thrust my forehead to the touch screen and force Wario to honk at the other kart drivers as he careened into the wall. The battery was purchased. Installation videos were watched. Googling was done. This would be simple, fast, easy.
After over a week of the post office tearing at my emotions as they dangled the battery over my head, they finally relinquished it and let me bring it home. The gamepad was wiped clean, the touch screen immaculately polished. Laid face down on a soft cloth, the battery torn from its excessive packaging, I would finally give Nintendo justice and make up for my slaughter of its predecessor. The old battery was popped free, the new one filling the compartment with a satisfying click. This accomplishment instilled an overwhelming god complex of limitless possibilities – which lasted a few moments until I tripped, stubbed my toe, hit my knee, and fell to the hardwood defeated with about as much pride left as a shell-less koopa.
“But that was just a battery,” you must be thinking, “How incompetent are you?” and to that I reply, Fantastically (Mod Moron, remember?). It’s not that I think the job is hard; it’s the fear of destroying what I love, the fear that the absolute worst somehow MUST happen. And that brings us to the most difficult ‘mod’ I’ve faced: upgrading the hard drive of my PS4. In recent months, the PS4 has become my predominant console. It is now the favorite of my digital children and possibly the closest thing I will have to an intelligent heir. The new HDD was purchased. As my files were being backed up, COGconnected’s DIY video played in anticipation of circuit surgery. Twice. The replacement itself was easy; maybe this would be just as easy as the battery. That is, until the console wouldn’t read the update file. There were several minutes of controlled panic and file shuffling until I realized there were two update files available from Sony, and I had simply grabbed the wrong one. With an embarrassed grin of shameful relief, the PS4 began whirled back to life.
I am completely useless with tools, I come by the designation of Mod Moron quite honestly. My computer literacy skills extend to understanding the difference between KB, MB, and GB and little else. In the end, with each step I took, I found just a little more confidence in my own abilities. Developers are intentionally making consoles and games more accessible to modding, and there are hundreds of resources online to help you stop sweating bullets and get the most out of your gaming experience. I find myself looking forward to my next upgrading adventure and the inevitable fumbles I will make along the way. I cherish video games, and if someone like me can defeat the neurotic little voice screaming about imminent failure in my ear, then anyone out there leery of improving their consoles should take a deep breath and repeat after me: At least I’m not that guy.
So please, tell us on Facebook, Twitter, or the comment section below your worst upgrade gaffes and mod moron moments, you don’t have to suffer alone!