Baffling Petition Against Far Cry 5 Bubbles to Surface

Angry Gamers Start Baffling Petition to Cancel Far Cry 5

Totally justified outrage alert! An especially angry subgroup of seething gamers has started a baffling petition to have Ubisoft cancel Far Cry 5. You know, that game that isn’t even out yet with the fundamentalist christian cult playing the villains? Yes, that one.


The petition in question has already started gathering signatures at a blistering pace, earning a whopping… 114 names in support. Well, it’s a start. According to the details included in this wildly articulate piece of literature, Ubisoft’s unacceptable choices with Far Cry 5 are the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. After having to deal with Gamergate backlash, terrible AAA launches, censorship and “the continued rejection of romantic partners when they find out our hobby,” well this is just too much.

The petition even has some helpful suggestions to Ubisoft in case they actually respond to this campaign. The list suggests sensible things like changing the villains into Muslims or black people, or moving the setting to Canada. After all, they have such a rich history of fundamentalist cults, right? For a richer understanding of the motivations people have had to sign this petition, be sure to check out the “reasons for signing.” It’s good to see such passionate, totally serious people getting on board with a cause like this. For more info on this embarrassing spectacle in the making, check out our video on the subject below!


  • Hugsie Muffinball

    “Us Gamers have had to endure a lot of crap over the last few years.

    continued rejection of romantic partners when they find out our hobby[/b]”

    I suspect Poe at work.

    • Sol

      Edger Alan Poe?

  • GeneralTacticus

    I just wanna know why the flag has vertical strips. Is it an alternate history thing? A version of the flag I’m not familiar with? Something unique to the story of the game? At any rate I can’t wait to play it when it’s 20 bucks.

    • Brad Marcus Kirchhoff

      Get a job. U sound pathetic.

      • GeneralTacticus

        Bitch you randomly flame people on the internet. That’s fucking pathetic.

    • Sovereign SnaKe

      It’s draped over the table with the left side of the flag facing the viewer. You can see the eyelets for hanging it at the bottom (next to the sitting guys knees and the crossbow on the right.) The only difference from the current American Flag is the crosses replacing stars.

      • GeneralTacticus

        Ohhhh of course. A perspective thing. I just flat out had it all wrong. Thanks for the reply.

  • Deer in Headlight

    A nerd manifesto

  • Mark Hutchison


  • Brad Marcus Kirchhoff

    Im gna buy the game multiple times to support it. Ill gather as many American christian faith based group pages on facebook as I can and then im gna post videos of me playing the game everyday to their pages.

    • bruce livingston

      You’d be wasting your time, since no one cares. This “petition” is obvious satire. Did you even read it?

    • Danny DeMent

      Oh cool. I’m sure they’ll be quite fond of the work Pastor Jerome helps you do in taking down the Cult.

  • scottishplrbear

    I can see why people would be upset, it’s just as pathetic as people throwing a fit over killing a bunch of brown or black or red skin people

  • Migi

    I’d vote for changing the setting towards Islamic! Considering that would depict religious insanity a lot better. I wouldn’t be suprised if it was just a Troll petition considering SJW were going batshit crazy and screamed we can finally kill trump supports.

    The 2 retarded groups of the left and the right are going batshit carzy over the game and you retards are fueling the fire.

  • bruce livingston

    Ffs, did you guys even read the petition. It’s obvious satire. Google Poe’s Law before you spread nonsense.

  • Danny DeMent

    1. It’s not even a fundamentalist cult, tbh.
    2. There’s a Pastor working against them for crying out loud, as well as a “blue collar” crop duster and a saloon owner. Who are white people. And American.
    3. Pretty sure this is satire regardless, though some signing may be serious.