When I took the position as video game writer I imagined it was going to be one of the coolest gigs I had ever had. I would get to play games early, for free, and in some cases I could help shape their future. I was right in a lot of ways, it’s a wicked job but there is a dark side to this work and it’s called: dog games. I have to play those too. The most recent being Rocktastic Games’ Rogue Continuum.
That may sound harsh, but damn… playing Rogue Continuum was a joyless experience right from the start. The story is the first layer of the generic onion that is Rogue Continuum. It’s knowingly modeled on cookie cutter action movies, as if the fact that it’s lack of creativity is on purpose automatically makes it a worthwhile piece of parody. Nah dawg, you’ve just added to the problem.
Here’s the deal: The Earth is about to be destroyed and you need to travel back in time to stop that from happening. I have no problem letting the story slide because, it’s true, I’ve loved games with stories as boring as that. Hell, I even love Destiny and that game’s story is damn near incomprehensible. Also, the story isn’t a very important part of a game like this, the gameplay is. Unfortunately Rogue Continuum hits you with another limp wristed punch on that front as well.
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” It’s what you’d get if you said to a seven year old to “draw me a rocket.” And I don’t think that’s overly harsh.”
It’s a game similar to Nuclear Throne. Move with your WASD, aim and shoot with your mouse. You’re given an objective to complete and usually a boss to kill. The thing that makes Nuclear Throne great (one of them anyway) is that the different weapons have different properties and corresponding strategies. It’s got depth. In Rogue Continuum the best strategy is always to walk away from an enemy and shoot in the face as it mindlessly chases you. There is just nothing to this game. The pickups and upgrades are all pretty lame and don’t change the game all that much, e.g. faster reload time, shots fire faster, etc.
The art. It’s like, aggressively mediocre. The still shots all look like cheap Saturday morning cartoons and the in-game stuff all seems to animate with about three frames. This extends to the weapons as well. The machine gun shoots a gross blue blob of pixels, and the rocket launcher is a hilariously drawn cartoon missile. It’s what you’d get if you said to a seven year old to “draw me a rocket.” And I don’t think that’s overly harsh. This stuff naturally carries over to the character design and voice acting.
The main dude, Smackdown Sam, is pretty clearly a Duke Nukem clone. He looks like Duke, talks like Duke, and uh whatever… he’s Duke Nukem. But he’s somehow more annoying than Duke. A part of it has to do with him having less of Duke’s stupid arrogance while still trying to be stupid arrogant. He says lines Duke would say, but half-assed. This game succeeds in its unintended goal of retroactively make Duke Nukem a better character. There was one thing Sam said that actually made me laugh, I think he said “Huzzah!” at one point. You had to be there.
Look, I play games to waste time, but when a game makes me feel like I wasted my time wasting time, I just get confused and angry. Rogue Continuum has almost nothing going for it right now. I can’t recommend paying this game any attention. Just go play Nuclear Throne instead.
***An Early Access preview code was provided by the Publisher***
