Help Me Care About Framerates, Please

COG Considers: What If I’m fps Colorblind Or Something

I have a confession to make: I don’t exactly understand why 60 fps is such a huge deal. Now, before you rise up and collect my spinal cord like a Special Edition pre-order bonus, hear me out. As a card-carrying member of The Old (at least in gaming history terms) I’ve grown up with garbage framerates. I’m used to titles with such terrible fps that it’s not even included in the specs. You know, consoles with ‘bits’ in the description, games with pixels you can count, and other embarrassing relics of a bygone era. The latest subject of framerate scrutiny is Bloodborne, also known as the only Soulsborne game I’ve properly beaten. I don’t remember it being a stuttery, janky mess, but maybe I’m suffering from some sort of powerful delusion?

FromSoftware

The game in question is apparently locked to 30 fps on the PS5. We won’t see it at 60 fps unless the developers release some sort of massive patch to bring the game into the modern era. This means that Bloodborne’s native framerate is 30 fps. In other words, is this not the fps we’ve been seeing this game in the entire time? Am I the crazy one here? I feel like I wandered into the sunlight from a bunker after 30 years. Like rotting wig hair is waterfalling out of my mouth when I talk, like my teeth have turned to crystal and balsa wood, and I’m the last one to know. Confessing my ignorance about framerates makes me feel crazy, in other words.

Even playing things that are locked to ’60 fps’ doesn’t hit like I think it’s supposed to. It feels like being in a break room while everyone is talking about sports (which I also don’t understand). Perhaps once I’m indoctrinated I’ll never be able to go back. Like knowing how all the special effects are made in Star Wars, or what the actor playing Boba Fett looked like under the helmet. My PC’s never been good enough for all that ‘locked in’ business, and consoles are too automatic to really appreciate the smoothness. Like, you can’t root around in the guts of a PS4 to convince it to run better.

And yet, my chance to become a framerate snob is rapidly approaching. My PS5 is getting shipped to me soon, after which I’ll have a machine more than capable of running everything at the highest possible framerate. Maybe once I cross that threshold, looking at games from ages past will cause blood to leak slowly out of my tear ducts. Do framerates matter to you? Is there a support group I can join to cope with my obvious, untenable deficit? Let me know!

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