Games of 2016 That Will Suck

Make me look like an idiot developers!

The Last Guardian

For as cathartic as the unveiling of The Last Guardian was, and as pretty as the environment looks, it looks pretty shallow. All we’ve seen is basic puzzle solving and a kid yelling at the (admittedly awesome) giant bird-dog. Unique? Certainly. But I wouldn’t bet heavily on this one being as epic as Ico and Shadow of the Colossus.

For Honor

Brutal, visceral, and weighty combat in ancient times sounds pretty great, but I get a bad feeling about For Honor. It seems extremely one note – destroy the enemy – and I can’t see the developers shoehorning too many interesting modes into the works here. Bank on For Honor being more of a proof of concept than a fully developed game world.

Gears of War 4

I feel bad putting this here. Gears of War defined a generation of games – the last generation – but now that we’re firmly into the next generation, Gear of War needs to evolve. It has not. The same slow walking, stop and pop mechanics the series began with are still firmly in place, and it makes Gears of War 4 look and feel like an up-rezzed 360 game.

Battleborn

I love Borderlands, but no matter what I do, I can’t muster any interest in Battleborn. There’s a boatload of heroes, but they don’t seem very unique, nor does the gameplay look like it distinguishes itself from other shooters out there. It’s possible Battleborn will catch on with communities, but my gut tells me it will be a flash in the pan at best.

Scalebound

Honestly, this game looks like nothing beyond a simple 3D brawler with (presumably) some RPG mechanics. It’s still super early – and thus the potential to be proven wrong is strong – but I’ve yet to see anything that makes Scalebound look terribly intriguing. Also, the snarky hero in Beats headphones is a total bummer dude.