5) Jumanji
You can’t go anywhere these days without seeing Dwayne Johnson in something. If he isn’t lighting up YouTube and social media, on TV entertaining the troops or making deals on Ballers or in a shocking number of movies every year. Having been a major part of saving the Fast and Furious franchise, Johnson is pretty much printing money at this point and is starring in two major tentpole pictures this summer. One of them being a sequel to the Robin Williams 1997 hit, Jumanji.
I like Johnson, I really do. He’s always entertaining but I’m genuinely baffled by how this one is going to play out. Cause didn’t he already do this movie when it was called Journey 2: The Mysterious Island? Are they taking an expedition into the game? That is the exact opposite of what was fun about the first one! Is Jack Black in the exact same role he just played in Goosebumps? And Kevin Hart the exact same role as Central Intelligence? Who thought Bad Teacher and Sex Tape were so good, they’d give Jake Kasdan a big budget franchise film?
These are a lot of questions and since it’s due out at the end of the year and there still isn’t even a teaser trailer out… well, I see that as not a great sign.
4) Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No TalesÂ
What’s sure to be a contender for longest title of the year is the newest entry to the still very successful Pirates franchise. This one is about… no, you know what. Let’s not do this.
Haven’t we had enough of this? Johnny Depp is pretty much a caricature of Jack Sparrow at this point, the discerning line of where Depp ends and Sparrow begins being long gone. But let’s just ignore how tired and trod out the Sparrow character is. Let’s just focus on the fact that there’s ANOTHER ghost ship. How many supernatural enemies can Jack Sparrow have made?! How didn’t they just get together in the first place? Are you telling me that Barbossa didn’t know about any of these guys before he decided to kill Sparrow? He couldn’t put together that two ghost armies are better than one? And Orlando Bloom is back?! What, is he hard up for cash now so he returns to the role he says ruined his career?
Anyway, this looks awful, no matter how they try to cut the trailer together. This series has been dead in the water since 2010. Can’t we let it die yet?
3) Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
Speaking of franchises we should have let die, how is the Resident Evil series still a thing? Last time I checked in on the series, the damn apocalypse had come and they were in a desolate wasteland, sifting through the ashes of what was left of the world. That was THREE movies ago!
This one was also delayed a few months by Milla Jovovich being pregnant and she couldn’t do her action scenes. I mean, they probably could have delayed this one forever, but alas, we must be subjected to another entry to this boring, generic shoot em up that bastardized a once great game series.
Point of note – any time a movie calls itself ‘The Final Chapter’, it’s guaranteed to not be the final chapter.
Head over to the final page for the top 2 movies to avoid…