Seven-Year-Old Needs Gaming Community’s Help

Tyrant Parents Are Depriving a Seven-Year-Old

My God. Is nothing sacred? They’re going after children now. Seven-year-olds, they’re not even in the third grade yet. The children, they don’t know any better! They can’t defend themselves, they don’t have a voice! We must be that voice, friends. For once in your life, stand up to tyranny and oppression and let that boy eat cake and play video games!

Young Nathan lives in a dullard’s ruse of school and rules and regulations! His parents, despite the school’s insistence, have denied him his basic human rights of the Wii, iPad, phone, and any other elecktronicks! What is this mad world we live in, that Young Nathan has not a single screen to grace his eyes? This is Madness! He will never know about Persona 5, for he is but a broken Persona. How will he know what the outside world is doing? He shall not, he shall sink into a grey world full of sports and math and The Chainsmokers. The school offered up a plea to these madmen that Young Nathan calls “Mommy” and “Stan”. The writ is as follows:

Seven-year-old Letter feature

“Dear parents,

Nathan has Been doinggoodinall his classes, except for VIDEO GAME CLASS! If he does not stayup all night playing video games, He will get kicked out of school!!! Start letting him stayup all night, & start tonight! He can play anything, computer, Wii, i paj, iPad, phone, & any other elecktronick.

the school”

They used ampersands, for the sweet love of Odin’s Gungnir! Grant him sweet mercy, please! Gaming community, unite! Petition your local parents to let you stayup all night & play video games in solidarity! Let Young Nathan live in sweet freedom, as we too often take for granted as 35-year-olds! Come on, you Rubes! We will take back the ampersand, and it shall be our rallying cry!
&! &! &!