A Full Load of Feelings
Having a hard time committing to Genital Jousting? Worried this purchase will leave you shafted? Third terrible penis pun in the form of a question? Well, put those worries to bed. The Genital Jousting story mode is an epic tale of a dick among cocks, my friends.
Genital Jousting finally got full release this month. This included, among other things, a story mode. Just what kind of story can be told without faces or (for the most part) speech? A pretty moving one. It’s no Dostoyevsky but it will penetrate even the hardest of hearts to leave them swelling with emotion.
You play a peen named John whose major quest is to find a date for the high school reunion in three months’ time. Not the most noble goal, but who wants to see those people again without a date? No one, that’s who. So, you’re set off on a long and hard journey to become the sort of a dick that any lady peen would want to be with. Along the way you learn all about life, love and the hollow futility of material wealth in the face of genuine personal growth. You probably think I’m making up that last part. After all, isn’t this a game about huge floppy dongers mounting one another in heaving, squirting piles on the ground? What kind of personal growth is even possible in a setting like that?
Maybe it doesn’t seem possible, but if a game about disembodied dicks battling one another for dominance can get made at all, surely one dick’s tale of redemption is just as likely to be told. Genital Jousting is available right this second on Steam.