Wolfenstein II The New Colossus Hands on – BJ’s Milkshake Brings All the Nazis to the Yard

Wolfenstein II – Your Order for Deadly Milkshakes and Bloody Dystopian Warfare Is Ready

As a first-time player of the Wolfenstein franchise, my expectations for Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus were set fairly steep. After Bethesda’s conference at E3 2017 revealed a colorful trailer full of twisted plotlines and suspenseful narrative, I was ready to be dazzled by the experience of being submerged in an ultimately chaotic array of Nazi-inspired technology gone haywire and the bloody opposition that still persists throughout a world that refuses to adapt to the overflowing dictatorship.


However, with wartime-themed video games abounding in the realm of AAA titles, Wolfenstein II would need to deliver certain elements in both content and storyline to set it apart from the first-person shooter genre that rides on settings of historic events. Thoroughly, I was not met with any disappointment.


“Wolfenstein II is a bloody and enticing dystopian future that throws the player directly into the first-person chaos of WWII era warfare mechanics and Adolph Hitler’s diabolical global reconstruction.” 

Wolfenstein II is a bloody and enticing dystopian future that throws the player directly into the first-person chaos of WWII era warfare mechanics and Adolph Hitler’s diabolical global reconstruction. During this hands on demo, our very own Captain William Joseph Blazkowicz, deemed “Terror Billy” by the Nazis, arises from a decrepit state to find himself amidst a formerly hijacked U-Boat that’s being invaded by none other than the exact people who are looking for him, the Nazi army.

I’m assuming fending off hordes of Nazis is usually not a big deal for our Terror Billy, as he’s apparently no stranger to accomplishing monumental acts of wartime heroism such as stealing U-Boats, except he can’t use much of his body strength and has to use the wheelchair conveniently located next to his gurney to navigate out of the stretches of corridors filled with Nazi soldiers.

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With health kept at 50% (first aid kits will only give you a temporary boost) and your mobility severely impaired, the German-engineered, underwater boat becomes a labyrinth of enemies and incinerating microwave technology where you have to tread slowly if you want to stay alive. The environmental puzzles within the submarine combined with teetering health stats encourage players to explore their surroundings and take advantage of the moving objects and crude weaponry within the boat to gain an edge on enemies.

Following a set of high-tension cut-scenes, Terror Billy is now on another mission and can use his entire body again, seemingly empowered with tyrannic strength. Enough strength to carry a small nuclear weapon disguised as a fire extinguisher with ease type of tyrannic strength. While navigating to a dinner where you will rendezvous with a fellow comrade, you’ll need to be as inconspicuous as possible during your tread through Nazi soldier-laden streets, grasping the exact same weapon that you’re about to use to take down an intricate system of underground Nazi headquarters firmly in your clutches. As if this situation isn’t already extremely tense, there are huge wanted posters with your name and face all over them covering nearly every inch of wall-space that isn’t Nazi propaganda.

Post cut-scene where a strawberry milkshake-loving Nazi discovers that you’re the wanted Terror Billy and gets his brains blown all over the floor by your newfound accomplice at the diner, you’re taken to an underground tunnel in Roswell, New Mexico, to navigate to the Nazi’s anti-gravity research facility and… well, blow it up. Having a break to explore the in-game UI at this point, character skill crafting and weapon customization appears intricate and honed to those who know how to take advantage of various combat mechanics.

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Perks provide a player with the ability to upgrade their character’s personal techniques in Stealth, Mayhem, and Tactical aspects by mastering maneuvers on the field. If a feat is accomplished a certain number of times, the player will receive an in-game reward in the form of a stat boost or other beneficial character trait, making the technique mastery worth the work to achieve it. Weapons upgrades will also aid you by giving you the boost you need in battle to eradicate waves of malevolent Nazi soldiers.


“Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus truly captures the high-anxiety territory of crude”

Maneuvering the depths of Nazi command bases is much easier with your full strength back, but that doesn’t mean that your enemies will go down without a fight. Sculpt your character’s Perks and boost your weapons to give yourself true dynamic in battle and the cutting edge that you’ll need to survive the waves of Nazis that await you.

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus truly captures the high-anxiety territory of crude, international warfare while keeping the content that lies within as thick as a strawberry milkshake.