Titanfall has released to the masses and you know what that means? Mudslinging. Anyone who enjoys any kind of game has to endure it at one point; their favorite game, developer, or franchise under attack because someone doesn’t understand it, doesn’t enjoy it, or is simply looking to troll a bit just for a good laugh. It happens to every genre, but some groups are just better at freaking out over nothing than others. We call these gamers a lot of different names, but the one that can be spoken in polite conversation is fanboy.
Some fanboys defend their beloved games like knights in shining armor, while others froth at the mouth in a rabid attempt to silence any who would speak ill of their favored pastime. They come in all shapes and sizes but no one will dispute that some groups of fans are really just worse than others. Here are the top four offenders based on illogical arguments, passionate distrust of all things new and a general affliction of madness, made (of course) in no particular order.
The FPS Expert
Know why Call of Duty Sucks? Because it isn’t Battlefield. Know why Battlefield sucks? Because it isn’t Halo. And just in case you were wondering Halo sucks because Master Chief is just stupid.
If you felt drawn to the previous paragraph perhaps you too are one of the many FPS fanboys out there in the world, ready and willing to vomit half-legible sentences through their keyboard onto anyone who can read simply because they don’t enjoy one kind of gameplay over another. It’s amazing the amount of dedication and fury these individuals can have, often misplacing logic and objective reasoning with their own sense of pride and loyalty to one franchise over another.
Ignore that most major FPS games these days have a distinct flavor of their own, the typical of these dedicated FPS experts are convinced that their game isn’t just good, it’s the best. That there must be a king of shooters that stands out and leads all others, and that developers who work on inferior products are not only terrible game designers but rotten people out to steal your money and probably kill you if they get close enough. Depending on who you talk to said developer may also go in for a teabag.
The Sonic ‘Fan’
They may have gotten a little quieter in recent years but make no mistake; Sonic fans can be some of the worst people to ever engage in conversation with. The blue hedgehog has certainly seen some hit or miss titles in the past few years, but Sonic fans are unique in the fact that they aren’t out to prove that Sonic is the king of the platforming genre. On the contrary they want everyone to know that every single new Sonic game that comes out sucks compared to originals, no matter what.
Things that are considered unacceptable to Sonic ‘fans’? Any change to his artwork or design including but not limited to the size or shape of his eyes, the details on his shoes, the way he runs, how his legs spin while running, or how far forward he leans while running. Naturally every other character in the franchise is subject to the same scrutiny and the result is a group of gamers that sound perpetually stuck in the past, wishing earnestly to relive the glory moments of their childhood gaming experience.
The Pokemon Master
Most Pokemon fans are actually pretty great to talk to because as a mainstream RPG Pokemon is like a shared experience. Everyone has their own stories about gym leaders or their favorite team or a particularly memorable catch, there’s little room for confusion on the subject because it’s all personal opinion.
But dive too deep and you’ll encounter a Pokemon fan willing to argue with you about anything and everything. Your favorite roster? Garbage, particularly if you don’t take the time to EV train. Do you use legendaries? It’s because you suck, and the legendary you choose probably isn’t as good as another one you could have used anyway. Don’t even get them started on which generation is better, because the answer will probably change every time and is entirely conditional on a few select Pokemon anyway.
Hipsters will always insist that there’s no generation better than the first 151, but a true Pokemon fanboy will remind you that their perfect roster includes a collection of Pokemon across every game; hand picked and tirelessly EV trained for hours on end and if you want they are more than happy to show you their collection of shiny rares just to prove how dedicated they are. Exhausting.
The PC Elitist
Sony fans generally look down on the Xbox because it lacks the raw power of its system, Microsoft fans will frequently berate the PlayStation for lacking exclusives or the online support they crave, and Nintendo fans will push quality over quantity while quietly begging their overlord to publish more titles on a frequent basis. But PC fanboys look down on all with equal disdain no matter what the game is, and that just takes a special kind of person.
PC fanboys often love to derail conversations with interjections about how well a game runs on their system, or how developer toolkits make their experience more immersive, or how a mouse and keyboard is superior to a controller. The statements themselves are almost universally true, but the frequency in which they’re willing to spit out useless facts about their personal computer is like a banshee wail designed to remind you how great they are at playing games on a PC.
There is a time and place for everything and the PC elitist cares little for either.